My Bowl of Oranges

"But if the world could remain within a frame
Like a painting on a wall
Then I think we'd see the beauty then
And stand staring in awe

At our still lives posed
Like a bowl of oranges
Like a story told
By the fault lines and the soil"
(from Bright Eyes' "Bowl of Oranges")

Today I woke up with tears in my eyes. Bad dreams have a way of starting the day off wrong. And I laid in bed, staring at the ceiling for a bit before I decided that I would call a friend or two to see if anyone could talk. I was really happy when a friend showed up and we spent the day running errands, laughing, and hanging awesome posters in his new office.

And it was a good day, despite what I might have anticipated. This song somehow stuck with me all day and it's become even more meaningful. Isn't it amazing that music can do that?

today's thoughts....

You can never step into the same river; for new waters are always flowing on to you.
-Heraclitus

I'm in one of those seasons of my life when things are shifting again. These are always unnerving times because so much of change seems uncertain. I suppose I have some control as to what I choose to do to make things different and how I can respond during these daily alterations, but the outcome is beyond me. It's frightening because I'm not sure it will be what I've planned or wanted in my life; yet I've also learned that every time these changes have happened before, I've ended up in a new place with new hopes and dreams.

I'm excited for the new, but frustrated with all of the things and people who have walked away without any indication that my place in their life was anything but time spent. I hope I never make anyone feel like that. I cherish my friends with my whole heart and while time, distance, or circumstance might make it difficult to be a part of their lives, I will never knowingly walk away without explanation. That might be the most unloving choice someone could make.

It's Monday morning and there is a lot to do today. Here's a song that will be on my playlist while I work... My suitcase heart is ready for something new.


It's the second September I have known you
Four years or so ago, I rode a pony, called him "Truth"
We didn`t know the way so it took us till today to get here

And all that time, I felt just fine
I held so many people in my suitcase heart
That I had to let the whole thing go
It was taken by the wind and snow
And I still didn't know that I was waiting
For a girl on a slow pony home

I can remember when I first saw you
You said in my photograph I looked more far away
I laughed and smiled and didn't say "I am a bit afraid to be here."

Setting free the anchor and looking past the shore
It's a sea of horses on ships with no sails, no motors, no oars

Now we're cleaning the windows between us two
Funny, you do it once, and then again, and pretty soon
the fingerprints and dust...
But I've begun to trust the view here.