it's the little things

music makes my heart so happy. tonight i gathered with a group of friends and listened to them share what they have created and couldn’t help but think that i am blessed to know these people. the stories and styles are different, but the honesty in their art was inspiring.

after the event burritos were eaten and we went to play on the playground. swinging in a beautiful park is something that few adults do, but it’s something that i have rediscovered after working with kids. the simplicity in its movement and even the fact that you can sit side by side and have a conversation is kind of amazing.

i guess all this to say that i had a great evening.

i believe you are there

i know you are there somewhere. and i know your heart is big enough to love me. i'm just hoping that all of the mistakes of my life don't stuff my suitcase heart so full that there is not room for you when we finally meet.

Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer. -Rainer Maria Rilke

boda lapolla

My sister is now married to this really awesome guy. I love how the photos came out and I just had to put some up.

dream about you

I dreamt about you last night. We were in college together and then you disappeared. When I went to look for you there was this party in a hallway. Lots of people knew where you lived, but you were taking a nap. I waited for you to get up. When you finally did, you walked into the party just as a tidal wave of white dust blew over us and you were gone again. This time you were gone for good. The best part about the dream is that I saw you smile at me again. I miss you. So much.

songs that make my heart happy

Disney and cool music? I'm in.

something old that you knew-- some time borrowed made you blue

Little pieces of my heart chip off when I see tears in your eyes. But I know it is nothing compared to your shattered heart that continues to break with each realization that things have changed. I wish my arms were like superglue that could wrap around you and bring the pieces back together again.

Maybe as those pieces collect over time you will be stronger in the end. In the meantime, I hope you know that you can always cry if you need to. I promise not to tell you things happen for a reason or that it will be ok. I also promise that if you need to talk about it, I am around to listen.

Also, you should know that I already think you are much stronger than you know.

someday

source: http://ourtakeonfreedom.files.wordpress.com/2011/08/love.jpg

sunshine and dri

i love this movie. it makes me think of one of my best childhood friends. she and i were very different people, but we loved each other. she exposed me to things i would have never experienced. she also taught me how to stand up for myself. oh, and how to dance to ska music... that's true friendship.

thoughts about being closer to 30

I'm getting older. We all are. It's not a deep or earth-shattering thought, I know. When I was little I used to lie about my age--I wanted to skip to the future where my problems would be all sorted out and I would know exactly who I was. I knew that I would be happy. I hoped I would be in love.

I can say that I am happy. I definitely understand who I am, but it's helpful to have others around to keep me in check for those pieces of me that make me come across differently than I would like. I've always wanted to be a kind person. I make every effort to be positive and uplifting, and then I make one sassy comment and I feel like my sandcastle of kindness was flattened by my waves of sarcasm or cruelty. Some people are very nice all of the time. I admire them. Maybe they aren't nice all the time, though. Or if they are, maybe they wish they could grab onto that sassy wave and ride it across the shore.

Life has been very challenging this year. I am still hoping to fall in love for good. I am still trying to develop consistent and healthy habits. I am still working on my grown-up self, despite my youthful knowledge of grown-up-hood. And I am understanding each day that life is a process of choosing things. I hope that my grown-up self is making smart choices.

love, true love will follow you forever

My sister got married. So this is growing up...