So my band, Katie Leigh and the Infantry, is putting together an album. It is a huge goal that we are working toward. And I’m pretty excited about it. You can find us on the web in the following locations:
http://infantrymusic.com/
https://www.facebook.com/katieleighandtheinfantry
http://www.reverbnation.com/katieleighandtheinfantry


That’s all. End shameless plug!

Yesterday the cup Dianne gave me started leaking. Upon closer inspection, a small crack was discovered. Initially I was not bothered by this at all. I figured I could use the cup to hold pens or maybe even to put a little plant in. As the evening passed I could not ignore the sadness that slowly wedged its way into my throat. And as I said the words "I know it was just a cup..." I lost it. I cried and felt the loss all over again.

It was just a cup, but it was the last thing she gave me. And with her gone, there will be no new gifts. There will not be another birthday when she can pick something up for me that made her think of me.

The fact that it happened on her birthday made me wonder if I should be examining the spiritual realm or something. Maybe she knew I had been thinking about her. Maybe she knew that the memories are happy but that there are still sensitive wounds that have yet to heal.

It is hard to let go of things that are important. It is hard to let go of memories that define me because the connections lead me to a sad place. I have a hard time remembering her without wishing that we could have done the other things on our bucket list. Then I remember the phone call and the plane ride and the conversations and the stuffed animal at the front that still kinda smelled like her.

She never would have wanted me to feel so much sadness.