sand in my sheets

This evening I have been moved by the loss of a friend's sister. She passed away a week or so ago and as I look over the messages of comfort and hope that were given to her family, I am left with tears in my eyes. It is not the first time her passing has had this effect on me, but I felt impelled to write about it as I sit in my big red chair.

I believe that we are not lost in death, but the sadness of being here without someone we love is tragic. I cannot imagine what it would be like to lose a sister. The loss of two close friends has taken me to the depths of sadness, and I have no idea what it would do to me if I lost Katie. The idea takes my breath away.

Our lives are fragile. This seems obvious and possibly contrived, but I don't think it diminishes the truth behind the statement. Sometimes it feels overwhelming to realize how little control we have over our mortal lives. But I have hope that we are more than corporeal. And I do my best to take the moments that seem like sand slipping through my fingers and grip them until all that is left are traces in the crevices of my hands. With the grains that fall through my fingers, I will do my best to make castles that make my heart smile when I close my eyes and remember. And I will hope for the moments when I find sand in my sheets that reminds me of those moments that are often washed away in the ocean of time.